Get Outside in the Fresh Air!

Get outside White Cat CoachingWas it just me or did your mother often bark “get outside in the fresh air!” Or “go and play outside!” To be honest, I think much of it came from my mother’s desire for us to get out from under her feet while she prepared meals for the family or did the ironing or some other super-mum activity (I still don’t know how she did it all!). But I think she might have been on to something. As kids we spent as much time as physically possible outside playing in the street or local parks, most likely bugging the ducks in the local pond. Every minute inside (unless we were ‘helping’ Mum in the kitchen of course) really was a minute wasted. We loved it. Rain, hail or shine. As adults we spend less time playing outside, and more time indoors. And it’s making us unhappy.

The Brain Science of being outside

When we are outside, we are most likely looking up. After all, there is so much to see – trees, birds, clouds, the swing set in the park. Most of the activity is above eye level. Especially when you are small. When we look up, our brain accesses our visual memories and visually creates new things for us. It’s a lovely creative space. It is impossible to feel down when we are looking up. When we are inside, we are most likely looking down. Down at a laptop or iPad or TV or book etc. There’s not much to look at if you look up in a regular home. So we don’t. When we look down, our brain accesses our kinaesthetic  or feeling zone. It is also the place we look at for facts, data and logic. This can be helpful, but too much exposure to looking down can cause us to dwell on negative feelings and magnify what would otherwise be a fleeting bad thought. Term ‘feeling down’ is more appropriate than you think.

Take Action – Get Outside

There have been a number of studies that prove that time outside relieves the symptoms of depression and anxiety ( Even without these studies, we know that if we just take a few deep breaths and walk around the block our problems get into perspective. Recently, a colleague and I walked around the block four times. By the end of our walk we had solved all the problems in the world! Well, not quite, but we definitely felt better. Fresh air is natural medicine and completely free – although you might want to avoid the smokers’ corner as you escape your building. There might not be time to go to a park or to the river, but there’s always time to step outside, breathe in some air and look up. Look up at the sky, the clouds, the sun, the tops of buildings, the architecture you never noticed before etc.

We spend a lot of our time ‘switching off’ from the world around us with headphones in, buried in our Smart phones. Switch ‘on’ by taking in everything around you by looking up and about. It only takes a few minutes but can turn your day around.

How did you go? Did you love the feeling of being outside? Did you notice something new? Feel free to share in the comments or via your favourite social media button!

Welcome to the world of ‘Not Problem’

White Cat Coaching not problemIt’s a common misconception that coaches ‘solve problems’. It’s even more common to think that coaches focus on problems at all. In fact, the word ‘problem’ rarely comes up in a coaching session. My mentor introduced me to the world of ‘not problem’. You see, that world (the world of ‘not problem’) exists all around us. Then, inside it, almost as a tiny little universe all on its own is ‘problem’. We can get caught up in our ‘problem’ world because we choose to focus on it. Even more so, we choose to focus on something we either have and don’t want, or don’t have and don’t want. All this focus attracts the world of ‘problem’ closer to us, until it’s all we see. And when we’re in it, the world of ‘not problem’ ceases to exist for us.

Moving from ‘problem’ to ‘not problem’

A coach’s role is to move a client’s thinking from ‘problem’ to ‘not problem’. And the first thing we do is not focus on it! This is why, if you have been coached, you are generally asked ‘what brings you here today?’, and soon into the session you will be prompted to describe how you want it to be. While it might sound a bit unrealistic to focus on the positive all the time, what we are working to do with you is change your focus. Because when you do, you start to see the big, wide world of ‘not problem’ that exists all around us. And is always there. It’s like getting into an aircraft and flying high above the earth. All the people look like tiny ants (if you can see it at all), and skyscrapers look like Lego buildings. You start to see first hand the small part you play in the ecosystem that is our planet.

One of the most inspiring experiences I ever had was to kayak in Antarctica. When I found myself to be a tiny toy next to a pillar of ice the size of a city skyscraper, I realised how small I was compared to the natural world. Just one little being on a planet of billions of people. It puts things in perspective. While a coach will generally not take you on plane or to Antarctica, the questions we ask invite you to take a new perspective on what you are choosing to focus on and encourage you to look at the world of ‘not problem’ instead.

Busting assumptions

A great workshop technique I have seen used is called ‘busting assumptions’. It invites the room to look at some of the early assumptions being made about a particular topic. All assumptions are listed, and then participants are asked to look at things from the perspective of ‘what if they weren’t true?’. For example, an assumption may be made about a particular limitation being placed on a project, such as a time or budget. What if it wasn’t true? it encourages the participant to imagine a new possibility. To imagine things that did not seem possible due to assumptions being made. It moves you in to another world.

The more possibility we can see (whether it’s ‘true’ or not), the more able we are to move out of our ‘problem’ into a world of ‘not problem’. Sometimes, just knowing there is a world out there where your problem does not exist is enough to help you move to new opportunities. Think of a ‘problem’ you have right now. Imagine a world where it doesn’t exist. What does it look like? What’s different about it? What do you see, hear and feel? In the process of thinking about this, are you feeling different? What has changed for you?

This can be a little challenging to do at first. Let me know how you go, and also contact me if I can help in any way.

What are you talking about?

White Cat Coaching TalkingMany years ago, before I got the hang of speaking in public, I would often write out my content and talk it through in my head. I figured that talking it out was a great way of practicing. And, I could do it anywhere, any time. Traveling to work on the tram, on my bike, out on a run, in the supermarket. The list goes on. The problem was, it was all in my head. And the very first time my carefully crafted content was said out aloud was the actual moment in front of an audience. How did this go? Well, public speaking wise, not too bad. But not great. Where this really played out badly, however, was in difficult conversations. Yep, similar to public speaking, I used to decide what I was going to say, practice it in my head, then have the conversation. Now we’re not just talking about your every day “hey, how was your weekend?” conversations. We’re talking about “hey, I was thinking I’m not happy working here anymore”, or “hey, I’d like a pay rise” type conversations. These are hard. And just like getting up in front of a crowded room to deliver prepared content, they are just as important to rehearse.

Talking out loud

I have since learned to always practice out loud. Both for public speaking AND difficult conversations. Because when something is just in your head, it is exactly that. In your head. Those precious words have not had the opportunity to make their way outside yet, and our voices have a nasty habit of betraying our underlying feelings of doubt, fear and other emotions bubbling under the surface. For example, asking for a pay rise. You could have the best words and the best reasons, but if there is even a tiny bit of self doubt in your head, your voice will betray you. In Australia it’s a double wammy, as our accent naturally rises at the end of a sentence. And when that happens too much, people hear doubt and uncertainty.

And this is why we practice. Have you got something to say? Something that has been bumping around in your head for a few days, weeks or months? Be brave and say it. As Margie Warrell says in her book Stop Playing it Safe, “Issues that aren’t talked out are acted out, exacting a steep price on your relationships, your success and your life”. We know how important it is to speak our minds, and what is even  more important is making sure we’re fully prepared for that dry mouth, butterflies in stomach feeling. Practice is the key to nailing that difficult conversation.

Practice makes perfect

In Chris Hadfield’s book AnAstronaut’s Guide to Life On Earth, I was amazed (but to be honest, not surprised) at the amount of drills astronauts do. They practice for every eventuality, every potential disaster, that could happen in space. While our difficult conversations have nowhere near the danger a small oxygen leak on a spaceship has, our instinct for survival does not know the difference. So our upcoming performance review with a boss we have problems with can be every bit as frightening as the prospect of running out of oxygen thousands of miles from Earth. So just like an astronaut will practice for an oxygen leak, so must we practice for OUR events – big or small. This will mean we are prepared for anything, and that part of our brain that worries for our survival will relax, reducing fear and doubt. This will in turn mean that our voice is unlikely to squeak unexpectedly and put doubt in the mind of the person we are talking to.

Take some Talking Action

Do you have an important conversation coming up? Take action and practice talking it out aloud. Of course, you probably won’t want to do this on public transport, but what you can do is practice at home and record yourself. Then listen. Then practice again until you are confident you will not only nail the conversation but get the outcome you desire.

How did you go with this? Let me know by commenting or sharing. Need further help? Feel free to contact me. Helping people like you do this is my passion.

What are you creating with your thoughts?

Your thoughts create things White Cat CoachingRecently I wrote about how you could use your thoughts to get more things done. I hope you liked it! I have been thinking about this concept a lot, and I know many people are skeptical of the power of creating with your thoughts. Many people do not necessarily believe in the power we have to manifest what we want. How could it be that easy?

Well, it’s easier than you realise, and it’s happening now whether you like it or not. Let me explain. You see, we are thinking all the time. ALL the time. At any one moment, millions of bits of information are flying around our heads. Information is coming in due to external stimuli or internal recalling of events – both real and imagined. Our brain is working hard to filter in the most important things for us – the things that seem the most relevant (as decided by our unconscious mind). Just like a water filter jug. We talked about it a bit in 2013 – you can refresh your memory here. It’s absolutely fascinating how our unconscious mind filters the world for us – creating an entirely new world that is of our own making. Although the science proves our thoughts are creating the world around us, sometimes it can be hard to believe. After all, bad things still happen – and I don’t remember creating them!

Let’s positive test this

We are either motivated away from pain or towards pleasure. Many scientific experiments are designed to either prove something or disprove something. And those experiments can either be easy or hard. I’m a fan of easy myself, are you? If you are, and you’re keen to test this, let me give you a task. Believe for a second that your mind is trainable. It does not have to be at the whim of the millions of bits of information coming from without and within. Believe that you can change the filter (just like in your water jug) and see things differently. Meditation is a great way to train  your mind, and I absolutely recommend you do this. AND… decide now that you are only going to let love and harmony in. There are things happening all over the world that are not harmonious and loving. The problem is,we give them energy and they grow. Just like plants, the only ones that grow big and strong are the ones  you water and feed.

Take Action

Your mission – if you choose to accept it – is to only let harmonious, loving peaceful thoughts in. Wayne Dyer puts it really well. He advises that you consider yourself to have ‘suits’ protecting you. The first suit might be your clothes, even a uniform. And the second suit is your body. Underneath is who you really are. The only things that deserve to get through to the real you are loving, peaceful things. Everything else will just hit an outer layer and be bounced away. It doesn’t mean  you don’t acknowledge them, it just means they do not belong with the ‘real’ you.

If you forget, don’t worry. Acknowledge and move on. Give yourself lots of loving and harmonious thoughts and know you are doing the best you can. Then keep going. Like any muscle, it needs to be exercised. Do this every day for a week and you WILL notice the difference. You will notice more good things, you will notice less bad things. And the world will seem like a wonderful place. Because it is. Because you made it so.

I would love to know how you went with this. Feel free to contact me or share using your favourite button!

Are you acting like a Pro?

Are you acting like a pro?I am a huge fan of Marie Forleo, a super coach and business owner in the US. She has this awesome show she does every week called Marie TV, and some time ago I saw her interview with Steve Pressfield, the author of “Turning Pro”. The interview has been on my mind for some time, as it was full of gold nuggets, and I immediately bought the book. The premise is that when you are serious about something, you “turn pro” by acting like a professional in your chosen field. Acting like a professional? What if I have just started? The example Steve talks about in the interview is a friend of his who was a terrible golfer. He joined her for a game one day to find her dressed in all the latest, trendy golfing gear. Her logic was she was going to dress like a professional, and take golf as seriously as if she WAS a professional. She got lessons, had a plan, and before she knew it, her game had improved dramatically. She became really good by acting ‘as if’ before it happened. The question is, are YOU acting like the pro you know you can be?

 Act ‘As If’

I love this as a concept because acting “as if” is a great way to move you into a positive state of mind. It could be as simple as pretending that you’re happy on a day when you’re not. Firstly, no one in the office is interested in the terrible sleep you had, or the awful hangover you have (this news along could devastate many people – sorry). They will probably have a bit of sympathy if something bad has happened, but it’s limited. We’ve all got our own stuff going on, okay? I had a tough job a few years ago with long hours and lots of stress, and I remember making a conscious effort to turn up every day smiling. There was no point in being crabby.

The same can be applied to our personal goals. I love to run, and let’s be honest… I’m an amateur runner. There is no Olympic scout chasing me down my street (if they were they could catch me really easily…). That doesn’t stop me training like a pro – planning my runs, having the right nutrition the night before, buying good running shoes and clothes etc. I also started calling myself a runner. Which was scary at first – who did I think I was, calling myself a “runner”!? And the moment I did, my running improved. Amazing! The moment I stop thinking of myself as a runner, or the person I aspire to be in any way, I stop getting better.

Action Steps

Think of something you aspire to do or be. Now think of someone who has done it, or something similar. Whether it be an athletic goal, academic goal or career aspiration. There is bound to be someone… What are some things that they do that you could do? How do you think they respond to situations you find yourself in? How do they dress? What small changes could you make today that would move you closer to your goal?

Small changes can make the biggest difference. By acting ‘as if’ – even in some small way – will give you amazing results. Try it today and share your achievements using your favourite button!

Happy New Year – How to make 2015 Amazing

Happy New Year 2015 White Cat CoachingHappy New Year 2015! And this is a great time reflect on the year that was and what we want to achieve in the new year. It has been said that we overestimate what we can do in a year, and we underestimate what we can do in ten years. So before you look back on the year and think about what you have not done, or reflect upon the things in 2014 that did not go your way, look back over the last ten years. What have you achieved in this time? What happened that made you really happy? Go on, make a list. I bet you will be surprised at how much is there – just how many happy times and how much you actually did in that time.

Reflect on Your Achievements and Happy Times

It can be so easy to think of things that went wrong. Unfortunately, that time you tripped over in front of everyone is burned in your memory, but guess what? I’m willing to bet that no one else remembers it. So make sure you take some time to think of all the amazing things that have taken place in your life. The reason why I like to do ten years, is that it is impossible to not think of something. Even if there are a few years that you would like to forget due to sadness or loss, there will be at least a few things in that period of time that stand out. It’s also fun to remember things that may have been forgotten – for no other reason but they faded with time. Bringing happy memories back to the surface is good for our souls. Think of a time that made you happy and make it big and bright. Give it more colour and talk about it. Give it energy and it will return the energy to you.

What’s next for 2015?

When you have finished reflecting on happy times and wonderful achievements for the last ten years (take your time with this, there’s no rush), imagine it is ten years from now and you are reflecting on the last ten years. So, it’s 2025, and you are remembering 2015. How do you want to be feeling? What are the happy memories you would like to surface and make big and bright? Make it fun, make it light hearted, because really, who knows that the year will bring? Approach this exercise with a sense of play.What funny moments do you want? What would you like to achieve? What would you like to put in place this year that will make the next nine years amazing? What do you need to do this year to give you the feeling you want?

Take Action

I like the concept of feelings over a to-do list that ends up being a list of unfulfilled resolutions. Think about how you want to feel, and feel it now. What do you need to do to sustain that feeling? Once you know, take action now. Even if it’s just a small step. Our unconscious minds love it when we take action – it further imprints the importance of our goals, which in turn makes the unconscious mind work harder for us to ensure we manifest what we want.

I have kept my plans for 2015 simple. Focus on maintaining good health and publish the book that I am writing. Every day, I take an action that is focused on those two main things. As the year goes on, I need to make sure that nothing is being neglected and adjust if needs be.

What are the two things you can focus on this year that will make 2015 amazing?

Change is Great! On my terms only…

Adapting to ChangeOne of the first things that springs to mind when I think of Change Management is my cat. Cats do NOT like change. At all. Move the sofa slightly and watch him sniff disapprovingly, shoot me a filthy look then take a long time to get comfortable. Don’t even think about sitting in his spot – his stare will burn right through you. I love bringing both cats back from their ‘holiday resort’ after we’ve been on holidays and watching both of them explore the house, looking for something that has moved, changed or is brand new. Even the most delightful looking toy or a box is at first greeted with a wary look. Once deemed acceptable, the new item will be embraced into the family, and heaven help you if you try and take it away.

I truly believe that everyone loves change. Providing it’s done on their terms. Their way. In a way that is acceptable to THEM. So how do we manage ourselves during times of immense change when everyone is different?

What could go wrong?

In the business world, teams get together regularly to anticipate what could go wrong in a planned venture or project. And on a personal level, we pride ourselves on thinking of everything that could go wrong with any given activity from a house move to a new relationship. Brene Brown goes so far as to say we tend to “catastrophize” and imagine things that are as catastrophic in nature as they are likely. We can’t help ourselves. Especially when the change is being done “to” us, instead of “by” us. A lot of it is related to fear, and it holds us back. So, while you might be thinking you’re being the clever “devil’s advocate”, you may be getting in the way of your or someone else’s success.

I have seen clever, educated people fly off the handle at the prospect of change. They will jump to pick holes in the idea and attempt to bring it down before it’s even alive. They are not being mean. They are being human. We simply can’t help ourselves. We like to be clever.

What to do First

This is a difficult step that can be a challenge for some, but let’s learn from my cat. Case Study: Initially, when a cushion is found at a different angle, there will be hesitation followed by a disdainful look, but he will explore the possibility of leaning on the cushion at a different angle. Tentatively at first. There may even be another disdainful look. Before you know it, he is happily dozing. No cushion around? A keyboard will do (see image).

We can do this too. When change is imminent, explore the possibility first. There will be time later to criticize, but right now, in this moment, ask  youself:

  • “What possibilities does this create?”
  • “What’s good about this?”
  • “What positive things could come of this? For me? For others?”

The cool thing about asking these questions is you have opened up your unconscious mind to the world of possibility. Not only are you more likely to understand the change (and even accept it), but if it’s not shaping up as acceptable, your mind is open and ready to come up with great reasons why the idea might not work. You will be able to resourcefully provide great feedback that could impact the outcome. Win/Win, right?

How do you respond to impending change? What is your first response to something new? How could you change this to get more out of new opportunities?

Friday Optimism

Happy Friday physiologyDon’t you just love it when you see all over social media “Happy Friday!” “Yay, it’s the weekend!” etc? The statements are normally adorned with dogs doing high-fives or a cat wearing a shark outfit. Speaking of which, if you want to brighten your day, you simply must watch this YouTube clip.

On the flip-side, you don’t have to look far to find “Oh, no it’s Monday”, “Where did the weekend go?” etc. It can be a downer, right? One of my friends attributes his success to (in his words) “treating every day as if it were a Friday”.  This is sometimes met with “whaaaat?” or outright curiosity. How does he do it? He’s always (well, mostly) smiling and has a great outlook on life. He doesn’t go so far as to wear jeans to work, but he doesn’t need to. He chooses to approach each day in a way that brings him happiness.

How to treat every day like a Friday

This is available to everyone, not just “naturally optmistic” people. In fact, I would argue that term does not exist. Anyone can be optimistic if they choose. But sometimes we need some help. And help is on the way… What you need to do is this.

Next time it’s Friday, do something that energizes you and makes you feel amazing. It might be simply putting on your jeans and treating yourself to an egg and bacon muffin. It could be going for a walk in the sunshine. It could be posting a photo of a dog high-fiving on social media and sharing your Friday joy with as many people as possible. Or all of the above. As much as possible. This Friday has got to feel GOOD. Now, as you’re doing this, press your middle finger against your thumb. Make sure there is pressure there. Maintain the pressure as you are feeling all these good feelings. Keep feeling all these feelings, taking in everything you see and hear around you. As the good feeling subsides, take the pressure off. Throughout the day, as you feel great, return the pressure, so by the end of the day that feeling of your thumb pressing down onto your middle finger is fully associated with a great day.

To test, simply wait until Monday and  you are feeling a bit blah. Press your thumb and middle finger together and… Voila! Your Friday Feeling will return. Repeat as much as you need.

Get that Friday Feeling Anytime, Anywhere

By associating a physical movement to a great feeling, it means you can feel that feeling ANYTIME you want. Have you just given a great presentation? Do something with your body as you feel great about what you achieved. Next time you have a presentation to do, do that same movement. The feeling will return. We deserve to feel great all the time. And sometimes our thinking gets the better of us and we get in a slump. It can be hard to change our thinking when our mind is racing a million miles an hour, so don’t try. Instead, change something about the way you are sitting or standing, and enjoy the good feelings that come. Tony Robbins swears that a “physiology creates psychology” and Amy Cuddy gave an amazing TED Talk that backs this up with science.

What are you waiting for? Time to feel great now and always.

So, how did you go? Did you create an amazing Friday feeling? Feel free to share using your favourite button!

Don’t Stop Asking Why

Keep asking WhyDo you remember when you were a child, and your parents would ask you to do something and you would ask “Why?” Your parent would answer, and you would ask “Why?” again. Very patient parents would answer as many “why”s as they could before their energetic and persistent child eventually wore them down and the final answer was “Just because!” or “Because I said so!”

Fast forward a few years to life as an adult. You are sitting in the boardroom and someone mentions a term you are not familiar with, or announces a new strategy that does not make sense to you. How often to you speak up and ask “what does that mean?” or “why this strategy?” Of course, there are some people who do, and they are sometimes seen as troublemakers or time wasters. Over the years, we learn that asking “why” disrupts the delicate balance. If you don’t know something, find it out in your own time, don’t waste other peoples’ time.

Why do we stop asking Why?

I believe we lose our child-like wonder of the world and come to believe that what we don’t know we should know, and assume the reason “why” has already been agreed AND there is a great reason for it. Our parents (bless them) are probably partly to blame – in their efforts to find a little peace, the discourage our curiosity. They (and others) teach us that the world has boundaries, so stay within them. We then grow up to build those boundaries even higher, and before we know it, our wonder and amazement of what else is possible is gone.

Of course, some boundaries are there to keep us safe. Why do we not touch the hot plate? Because it is hot and it will burn and hurt us! There are many factors that contribute to doing things like putting on sunscreen, wearing gloves, taking your umbrella out with you. Somewhere along the line, we confuse those genuine needs for safety with the not so genuine needs. Some great questions to ask now could be:

  • Why do I have to go to university?
  • Why do I have to get a full time job?
  • Why do I have to learn this way?

The world is changing. Previous paradigms that were held true are no longer true. Our need to ask “Why” has always been there, and is now greater than ever.

How to start asking Why again

We are conditioned not to ask, so learning how to ask Why again means changing our conditioning. Changing our behaviour. I mentioned before that the people who speak up can be seen as wasting time or disruptive. It’s time to be disruptive but in an a way that serves everyone. And doesn’t waste time. Firstly, recognise a genuine need to ask Why – what is it you don’t know? Why do you need to ask why? (see what I did there?) Next, think how could I ask this in a way that serves the room. “Why?” can be confronting, and often leads to people being defensive or shutting down. Other ways to ask could include:

  • For what purpose?
  • What will that give us?
  • What does that mean for us?
  • What is this an example of?

Any question that can help align to a common purpose. Finally, when the question is answered, acknowledge it. The person answering it has no doubt stepped out of their comfort zone and thought about something in a way they have not thought before. Make sure they know you appreciate it.

How often do you question the purpose of something you don’t understand? How might asking Why more help you get better results? Feel free to share using your favourite button!


Don’t Settle for Anything less than Amazing

Don't settle White Cat CoachingOften through my coaching clients, colleagues and friends, I come across people who are unhappy. Unhappy with their jobs, their partners, their environment. Their lives. It appears that at some point in their lives they have ‘settled’ for something that they weren’t actually aiming for but decided at some point: “This will do”. A colleague of mine years ago chose her partner for life based on the fact that “we know each other, I’m getting older, and I’m not sure if I’m going to find anyone else in time to have kids. This will have to do”. We see it all the time with jobs. People doing roles that pay the bills but leave them deeply unsatisfied and downright unhappy. It doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to settle. Don’t settle.

Why do we Settle?

Well, it comes down to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. We have some basic needs: food, shelter and sex. If any of those needs are not being met, we go into ‘survival’ mode. A number of years ago, my contract finished unexpectedly. One minute, I had an amazing, satisfying role managing a large program of work. The next, I was out of work. Even though I had money saved, my first instinct was: “I have to get another job” and, to be honest, a bit of panic: “What if I can’t find one in time?”… “What if I run out of money?” Even though I was highly capable and good at what I did, the fear crept in. In those panicked moments, I’m sure I would have accepted anything just to guarantee my continued shelter and food supply. Fortunately, I did not make any decisions in those moments of panic, and within weeks I had several options of new roles to choose from. We all do it. I’ve seen highly successful people living their dreams, switch to ‘survival’ mode when something happens that threatens their basic needs. It’s simply fear taking over.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

Susan Jeffers, in her book “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”, talks about doing things you are afraid to do helps build a muscle, allowing you to take on even more challenging tasks. The thing I love about her advice is she encourages us to literally ‘feel the fear’. Fear is not something to run away from. Jeffers encourages us to examine the fear – why are we feeling it? What could it mean? Negative feelings are not a bad thing. They are simply warning signs that something is up. What is this feeling trying to tell you?

Once you have a better understanding of your fear, the best thing to do is change your physical state. It could be as simple as going outside for a walk, or standing in a power position. I’m a big fan of the ‘Warrior II’ position in yoga or throwing my hands in the air and looking up (seriously, this works – you may get some strange looks in the park but it’s totally worth it). You have already done something. Now do something else. Keep taking steps that move you away from that feeling of fear and away from ‘survival’ into ‘thrival’.


Know that you deserve the very best. Know that many people before you have faced tough adversity and come through it all better than ever. They are human beings just like you. Don’t settle for ‘surviving’ through adversity. Settle for nothing less than coming out bigger and better than before. Know that the power is in your hands. In her book “Thrive”, Arianna Huffington tells us “We all have within us the ability to move from struggle to grace”. And we do. Spend as much time in struggle as you need to understand why you are feeling it. Then move into grace. The power is in your hands.

Since I mentioned two books that inspired me, it almost goes without saying that a wonderful way to move out of ‘survival’ and into ‘thrival’ is to read a book or or listen to someone who inspires you. Whatever it takes. Don’t settle for anything less than amazing.