What do you want? The value in being positive

Peace PleaseOn our honeymoon, I was simply delighted with the wooden sign on the back of our door that said “Peace Please”. Whenever we wished to be left alone, rather than hang the usual “Do not Disturb” sign that is common place in hotels, it reflected what we really wanted in a positive way.

It got me thinking about how we set our goals. If you have been working with me on your Passion and Purpose Archetypes, you will be well on the way to setting some great goals based upon who you really are and what you really want. And they will all be stated in the positive! Always. And here’s why…

Well, I definitely don’t want…

I am always amazed that people seem to find it easier to say what they don’t want, rather than what they DO want. Remember, the unconscious mind cannot process a negative. So, while it might be very easy to say “I don’t want my next job to involve working with annoying people”, what your unconscious mind is hearing is “My next job will involve working with annoying people”. This also explains why when you stay in a hotel and put up the “Do not disturb” sign, every member of staff and guest in the hotel seems to find a reason to walk past your room talking in a loud voice. Or small children start a spontaneous game of corridor cricket (oh, yes, that has happened to me). You are “disturbed”. So, what do you want instead? Instead of being disturbed, what would you prefer? Instead of working with annoying people, who would you like to work with instead? What are they like?

So, why is it so much easier for us to say what we don’t want? When was the last time you hopped into a taxi and told the driver you wanted to be “anywhere but here, just drive!” Try it! You  may also want to list other destinations you do not want to go to. What would the driver do? I think you might find yourself on the curb. Generally, we like to tell the driver where we would like to go. Sometimes, we don’t know the way (and often the driver doesn’t either). But that doesn’t stop your journey from being successful. Eventually.

The same goes for our goals. Your unconscious mind is your “taxi driver”. Let it know where you want to go. You might have to say it several times, describe it in more detail, or even show them a picture. Providing you can express the destination as a place you want to go, the driver will take you there. We may have a better idea of where we don’t want to go because we have made mistakes in the past, or our friends have. So, we have built up a list of things we don’t want. The choice is ours – do we want to focus on THAT list, or build a new list of things we know we DO want?

What do you want? What do you desire?

What is it that you want? Where do you want to be next week? Next year? In three years?  What will it mean for you when you get there? What are you telling yourself about this want? This desire? What words are you using? Are you being clear and positive, or is this want being clouded by doubt? Are you expressing what you DON’T want? Because whatever it is you are saying to yourself, you’re going to get it…

So, if whatever you are saying to yourself you are going to get… What are you saying to yourself right now? And how must it change in order to get what you want? What you desire?


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